On Bended Knee

I am not really a traditional person.

I appreciate traditions just as much as the next person -- for example The Voladores de Papantla -- can you believe this amazing daredevil tradition set to the music of a pan flute?? But mostly, I have sought out experiences adrift of the mainstream. And that's what I will get with planning a lesbian wedding.

I didn't seek out being a lesbian - it sought me out. Once I came to terms that being gay was a part of my identity I fully embraced it and nearly ten years after coming out - met the most perfect woman for me - C.


Not unlike the Mexican Flyers, C is herself a daredevil - performing "high stakes yoga" in her trapeze classes. She takes risks -- calculated ones. She took a risk going for her MBA and leaving a life of freelance art and production. She is always striving to improve and better her life - she does her creative thinker exercises and Kakuro puzzles and we come up with new product ideas together -- and I guess I am a part of the life improvement plan because she wants to marry me.

C and I just celebrated two years together. We went to Puerto Vallarta Mexico and stayed at a B&B called Arco Iris. The B&B is run by Tom and Ran, expats from the southeastern US who have been together for 24 years! Tom made the most amazingly elaborate breakfasts and Ran made us laugh with his quips ("those people must be walking there because they want to die") and t-shirt slogans ("Not wearing underwear" "My Monkey Made me do it" and some Bubble Gum t-shirt making reference to blowing).

Arco Iris was to be the sight of our proposal.

When you are in a lesbian relationship sometimes roles are not really clear. C and I are pretty fluid though -- we skirt back and forth and sometimes I wear the skirt. But when it comes to getting hitched -- who was going to ask and when? Do I buy a diamond engagement ring? Wait -- she hates diamonds (I learned what the 4 Cs were anyway). Maybe she would want a necklace instead? Doesn't matter now -- C beat me to the punch.

The day C asked me to marry her was not really typical. We went on a canopy tour -- you know the kind -- ziplines, waterfall rapelling, water waist high, lots of bugs, dirt under the nails. Earlier in the day we were held up for two hours as a gas tanker was being pulled out of a ravine over the side of a switch back road. The truck had petrol in it when it lost control and slid off the road, down the mountain and into the side of someone's house. Can you imagine having breakfast and a gas truck knocks your house from its foundation?

We were heading there. Not skidding off a mountain but towards engagement. At least that's what my mom said to C when she called my parents to ask "for my hand" before we left on our trip. My mom's response "oh sure, you were heading that way anyway".

Post canopy tour and post shower, C got down on bended knee and asked me to be her wife. She made me a ring out of passion fruit vine from the terrace (as a place holder for the one she is having custom made for me). I took her hand and as our eyes swelled up with tears said "Hells yeah."

So now we are planning a wedding -- the holy mother of traditions if there was one.

C and I have been to plenty of weddings and plus, we just did a gut renovation of a two bedroom apt.

But how hard can it be?

Guess we will find out soon enough.