10/4 Good Buddy

We nailed down the venue AND the date for our nuptials this past Friday night.

Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture

Saturday - October 4, 2008

The countdown begins....

Ringless

First, an update on the ring: Turns out she doesn't want one until we say our vows. Who knew? This simplifies things a LOT. I'm getting her a necklace from Zoe Chicco to match the one she gave me on our anniversary (moments before I proposed to her with the jungle vine ring). We'll have simple bands for the ceremony. I love the idea of wearing a symbol of our commitment and expectations of staying together... well, forever.

Fun fact: I learned that wearing two rings (such a giant diamond rock ring plus a simple band together) is called "stacking." Kind of like "packing," which is the masculine underware equivalent of putting tissues in one's bra. We won't be stacking.

Fashion and Gender

B wants to wear white. A white dress, to be specific. I can picture her in a summery J-crew sundress that shows off her sexy legs. She has a scar on her right knee from an ultimate frisbee injury and I love that her legs are so beautiful that you get distracted and never notice the scar because there's all that lean strong muscle to see instead. Then I usually kiss her right knee real lightly to make sure it doesn't feel ignored.

How can she be so sure that she'll want to wear the dress next fall? She floats between genders effortlessly. Fluttering about between masculine and feminine, she'll wear skirts and floral prints one day, then a baseball cap and men's jeans the next. Her face is pretty and handsome at the same time. But somehow she just knows, she'll wear a white dress.

My movement between genders is more like a pinball machine. I make a ruckus, tossing aside tight tops and baggy pants on the bed in the morning, wearing push-up bras and sports bras together (to reduce bounce while avoiding uni-boob-itis). I like to wear ties, but when I do, I like to pair them with a pair of sexy heels. Where, oh where, does this leave me on my wedding day?

I don't know what to wear at all. I don't want a poofy strapless gown because that's too femme-y and exposed. And I don't want a tux because that's too butch and ill-fitting. A suit is too stuffy, although I'll be barefoot so that would help keep it low-key. Sort of want some black in the photos for contrast, but that sounds a little serious for a celebration of two women in love. Red makes sense to me, like the Chinese and Indian celebrations I've seen, but I don't think my Catholic family would appreciate my wearing a robe that outshines the pope. B doesn't want me to wear red either. I wish I liked pink or light blue clothes - pastels would be a good compromise. But I want something more, well, urban. Edgy. Maybe something from DITC (Dykes in the City) - they make tuxedo shirts for women. But I'd still need something on my lower half.

At this point, all I know is that we'll be barefoot with flowers in our hair. What happens between the neck and ankles still remains to be seen.

Autumn has spoken

Do you know how you grow up listening to a song - the words of which you believe are the words stick in your head -- then you learn that you've been singing the wrong words all along?

I thought that the Cat Stevens song had a line in it "Autumn has spoken" but apparently its blackbird has spoken - so there you go. The title of this entry stays....

Been quiet on the blog posts in October but that does not mean we've been quiet on decisions. Just short on time.

Columbus Day weekend sparked a flurry of thinking and discussions on our nuptials. I spent countless hours looking at B&Bs - in Mass, Vermont, CT -- on the internet and C and I got a little stir crazy and forced ourselves to leave the apt or suffer a mini meltdown.

Thinking of the right place to have your wedding is stressful. You want it to be beautiful. You want it to be memorable. You want it to be different than other peoples. You want it to be what YOU want it to be and its difficult when you start taking what your family - and future in-laws - would want into consideration.

Some cool things for a wedding I have been thinking about:

• dunking booth -- dunk the bride -- how much fun would this be? seriously....
• drag karaoke -- this would be AMAZING
• choreographed dance moves -- C&I are going to learn the dance from Frida (the one with Selma Hayek and that woman -- the dance is hot hot hot
• dogs jumping through hoops and rings of fire
• a mime who interacts with people the whole time - -i am laughing already picturing this
  

Wedding planning is really analogous to chess. It starts with a series of small moves (pawns) - C&I know we want to be outside in nature, we want to be barefoot in the grass, we want Deb at Beast to cater, we want a Tonnie's Minis cupcake tier -- and now we have to start moving the heavy hitters (bishops, castles) -- and nail down the venue and date - and so on and so forth.

Wedding Day is looking like Columbus Day weekend -- we want a Fall wedding -- but we shall see if that pans out based on venue availability I guess -- which seems crazy.

We have talked about Provincetown, Brooklyn and possibly New Paltz area, but we keep coming back to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is where we met and feel connected and also the mid point for our families to travel. Big con with Brooklyn is there are no places (really) for guests to stay overnight.

Thus far we' ve visited the Japanese Garden in the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and have plans to see the Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture.

We'll spend the next few weeks calculating moves....and will report on our decisions.

This is so exciting and nerve wracking. I have never been more sure about anyone in my life.

The show must go on.