Fashion and Gender

B wants to wear white. A white dress, to be specific. I can picture her in a summery J-crew sundress that shows off her sexy legs. She has a scar on her right knee from an ultimate frisbee injury and I love that her legs are so beautiful that you get distracted and never notice the scar because there's all that lean strong muscle to see instead. Then I usually kiss her right knee real lightly to make sure it doesn't feel ignored.

How can she be so sure that she'll want to wear the dress next fall? She floats between genders effortlessly. Fluttering about between masculine and feminine, she'll wear skirts and floral prints one day, then a baseball cap and men's jeans the next. Her face is pretty and handsome at the same time. But somehow she just knows, she'll wear a white dress.

My movement between genders is more like a pinball machine. I make a ruckus, tossing aside tight tops and baggy pants on the bed in the morning, wearing push-up bras and sports bras together (to reduce bounce while avoiding uni-boob-itis). I like to wear ties, but when I do, I like to pair them with a pair of sexy heels. Where, oh where, does this leave me on my wedding day?

I don't know what to wear at all. I don't want a poofy strapless gown because that's too femme-y and exposed. And I don't want a tux because that's too butch and ill-fitting. A suit is too stuffy, although I'll be barefoot so that would help keep it low-key. Sort of want some black in the photos for contrast, but that sounds a little serious for a celebration of two women in love. Red makes sense to me, like the Chinese and Indian celebrations I've seen, but I don't think my Catholic family would appreciate my wearing a robe that outshines the pope. B doesn't want me to wear red either. I wish I liked pink or light blue clothes - pastels would be a good compromise. But I want something more, well, urban. Edgy. Maybe something from DITC (Dykes in the City) - they make tuxedo shirts for women. But I'd still need something on my lower half.

At this point, all I know is that we'll be barefoot with flowers in our hair. What happens between the neck and ankles still remains to be seen.